Alright, so my blog was never meant to keep an accurate journal of my life; I only tend to write when I think about my blog, which was today!
A little while ago I made the decision to move to Denver. After much reflection and consideration, Denver made much more sense than the other places I had been considering moving to. But, I didn't realize how great of a decision it was until this past Monday night when I recognized that Denver was 100% a new journey and San Antonio was 100% in my past.
After deciding to move to Denver, I quit my job and worked a lot! On my last day at work, I flew out to Denver to scope out jobs and housing, etc. Well, I wasn't nearly as productive as I had hoped because I spent so much time catching up on sleep, in which I had apparently, previously been deprived. I finished out my time in Denver and flew out to Utah for Kenya's wedding, then flew back to San Antonio for being gone for about 12 days. I returned on 14.Nov and worked on packing up my apartment. By Thursday, I had my Rental Truck and Movers all ready to go (by the way, I don't think I'll ever move without movers again! it was an excellent luxury). They hauled everything into the moving truck and I was gone by early Friday morning. I stayed in Denver until the day after Thanksgiving. This trip went pretty well but I was I didn't have a vehicle so I didn't feel as productive. I did have all my things that I put into storage, so that was nice. I also experienced some really nice-weather days and rode my bike around. Because I wasn't quite official, I still felt weird about being in Denver, but I dreaded going back to San Antonio. I left my car out in San Antonio and had a few things to finalize, which is the reason why I went back at all. My mom had been talking about coming out during this period with me so I could show her around San Antonio. She talked about it a lot but she usually doesn't follow through, and she didn't. So I got in to San Antonio this last Friday and didn't have much to do until Monday. Up until this point, I kept questioning whether or not going to Denver would really be what I wanted. I absolutely knew I didn't want to be in San Antonio, and this was reassured during my time there when I would drive around the city and become nostalgic and cry. At the same time, I couldn't necessarily fathom happiness in Denver, and this depressed me. On Sunday I did nothing but cry and write in my journal. I reflected on all my experiences in San Antonio, which included the good and bad. I hadn't cried that much in a day in a long time and it was something I really needed to do. On Monday I had a lot of things to do, so I stayed busy, but there was something nagging at me all day. There was one person that I wanted to see before I left but I didn't know if it would be possible because it had been awhile since the last time I saw them. The night started rolling in and I knew that I would absolutely regret not attempting to see aforementioned friend, so I initiated its happening. I met up with friend and it was wonderful. I felt so happy and as I told friend about my move and my reasons for moving, it made me feel so much better about my decision. When I went home that night, I bawled like a baby, but not because I was sad, but because I felt so good. It was like when you watch a movie that has a really touching ending and you start crying. I don't even know how to describe the feelings I felt because I wasn't happy per se, but I just felt content and good and like I was finally ready to move on, as if I had tied up all the loose ends that had been dragging me down for so long. I have a new hope that I didn't know existed before and I feel like I no longer have baggage. I feel free! That night I felt like I just read the end of a really good, but intense, book and I am ready to start reading another.
Tuesday I spent 14 long hours driving from San Antonio to Denver. While I was driving, it occurred to me that possibly the best thing about moving to Denver is the fact that I have no former memories here that I've spent with anyone else. One of the things that made living in San Antonio so hard after Daniel and I broke up, was the fact that all of my first memories of the place were made with him. Some of his friends became my friends and I could never escape the fact that I was too close to the problem. Even the last few days I spent in San Antonio were difficult in trying to suppress those memories. There were so many familiar places that directed me right back to a point in time in the past. Even driving on I-10 on my way out of San Antonio reminded me of driving back to Utah with Daniel for Christmas 2009 when I slept in the passenger's seat while D drove and watched movies. I don't have to worry about this in Denver. There's no nostalgia here, just a new memory to make every day. And Day 1 was definitely a good one:
Yesterday I slept in and felt really good when I woke up. I had a lot of energy and a lot of things to do! It was absolutely gorgeous weather. I went downtown for an interview with a hiring company. Their office was located in the Chase Building and as I walked to it, I felt completely in place. People were outside eating lunch, taking smoke breaks, or just chatting with friends. Most of them were in business suits and so was I. The interview went really well and now is just a matter of waiting for positions to open up. As I was driving around downtown, I suddenly really loved it. It's almost as if my previous weeks in Denver were not real and I was merely a tourist seeing nothing impressive with Colorado, but yesterday completely changed my perspective. As I was driving back home, I looked out from the freeway and spotted the beauty that I had previously thought was ugly. This is my home now and I'm prepared to enjoy it to its fullest! I'm so excited for the things I can do now that I'm not bogged down by a miserable job. I have a lot of goals and so many things to learn about the world; I'm ready to get moving again!
All my clocks are officially changed to the new time zone! I best be getting on with my day. It snowed today--I have been able to avoid the snow for almost two years and I'm happy it didn't snow at all during November and waited until 1.Dec.--how appropriate! But now I'm pretty much stuck inside all day. Cheers!
